Wasting time
I don’t quite know why but I just spent an hour creating a new blog in Wordpress, only to discover that all of the themes are shit and you can’t tweak them unless you pay and are good with CSS, which I’m not. So I’m back here, without ever really going anywhere. Below is what I wrote for my first Wordpress post:
“Check this out. Instead of doing something useful, I have transferred my blog to WordPress. This is the sort of thing that I do when I want to waste time. Shortly, I shall make another cup of coffee and do a poo. After that I might have lunch.
In other news, Abi and I are having a baby. As of today we are precisely halfway through the process. Our baby shall arrive on April 24th after a short and pain-free labour, because Abi and I are excellent timekeepers and it is bound to take after us. Tomorrow, at around 10.45, we’ll be able to stop calling the baby ‘it’ and begin saying ‘him’ or ‘her’. I’m going to take a wild punt here by saying it will be a ‘her’.
I’ve read a lot of information about having a baby. Most of it says that it’s a big panic, especially the literature aimed at fathers. I read one book by a guy who said straightaway (even though he and his girlfriend had been planning to have a child for months), ‘Abort it!’ Classy. I am currently not scared and not panicking. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, or that everything will be a barrel of laughs, but it seems that overall the whole ‘having a child’ thing is positive.
Pregnancy pretty much occupies our lives at the moment. We are fast becoming those boring people at parties who are always talking about their kids. It’s dawned on me recently that we are approaching life in quite a conventionally boring manner. We were married at 23, we have bought a house, we took some time to get used to living together and now we’re starting a family. It can’t be long before we’re buying sensible shoes.
This isn’t anywhere near a new thought, but writing this sort of thing down reminds me that information has changed so much in recent years. What I put on here will be visible to the child who is currently nesting and growing inside Abi’s body when he/she grows to be old enough to Google him/herself or me. My aim is to write some stuff that will freak him/her out when he/she’s old enough, starting here: growing a baby is basically like having a parasite attach itself to you. As Peep Show said so well last Friday, ‘It’s like Alien, but sexy. Sexy Alien.’”
